Words -- Peace or Pain?

A friend wrote a message today about verbal and emotional abuse. She wants people to realize these kinds of mistreatment are as harmful as physical abuse or battering. And she is right. In fact, cruel and hate-filled words may be even MORE painful than a slap, a kick, or a punch.

Unfortunately, verbal and emotional abuse are not rare. Many of us remember the child on the playground who was always chosen last to be on a team. Perhaps we ourselves have been victims of mockery and name-calling.

All around us there are people who carry insecurities, anger, and sorrowful memories because they have been targets of someone else's mockery or wrath. Perhaps we are casualties of verbal emotional, or some other form of abuse. Some may heal to an extent, but many will bear the scars of emotional trauma all the rest of their lives.

In our culture, in our families, at school, on the job, and even in our Churches hurtful things are said to one degree or another. This is counter to what God has commanded us when He said to love our neighbor as ourselves. By our words, we can bring peace and joy to others (and to ourselves). And we can bless someone else. Conversely, our words can bring pain and sorrow. It is hard to think of it, but we can be perpetrators of abuse.

The Bible is clear that our words -- and even our thoughts -- are of great importance.  James wrote, "With [the tongue] we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.  From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so." It is Jesus who said that people will know that we are His followers if we have love for one another! 

There is a little song that we used to sing in Sunday School when I was a child and we taught it to our children. It goes like this:

"Oh, be careful, little tongue what you say!
Be careful little tongue what you say.
For the Father up above
Is looking down in LOVE,
So be careful, little tongue what you say."

Let's join with the Psalmist, who prayed:

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer."  Psalm 19:14

Being The Eldest Sibling

Here is another memory, family! This photo is from 1967 when Valerie was about 2 1/2 and Stephen was almost a year old. When I think back on those days I think of how she took it upon herself to care for her little siblings. It was so sweet.

That is what the eldest child so often does! They are the helpers and the care-givers of the family. As the older sister in my family, I waited 5 1/2 years for a sibling. And, oh what a happy day to have my one, dear sister come into ou...r family. She was so much fun and so sweet.

By the time I was almost nine, there were four of us -- two brothers were welcomed into our family. And I was the baby sitter since Mom was sick with phlebitis in her legs quite frequently in those days.

I felt responsible for her and for my siblings. It wasn't easy. I thought at times that Mom expected more than I was able to give. The kids gave me a tough time sometimes. But God enabled me to do what He called me to do. And I still thank Him!

The care-giver older sister role became more intensified when Mom was widowed at the age of 34. Those were very tough times, but there were so many lessons to be learned and I am grateful that now I can hold a hand here and there and honestly say, "I understand. I care".


The Bible tells us this in 2 Corinthians chapter 1:

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

"For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer.

"Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation."

So, dear ones, trust the Lord in the good times and in the tough times. Through all the joys, all the sorrows, all the rewards, and all the injustices the Lord will walk with you. And He will form you into a more loving and compassionate person. May He be glorified through it all.

More Family Memories - Part 1

Did you ever think: "I should write that down so I don't forget it."
We all have, but if you are like I am, you get busy and forget.
So I've decided to dive into the past and pull out some cute and special things mainly for family, but you friends are welcome to join us if you wish. :
...

So let's start right here with a note that Bethany wrote to Valerie in the fall of her freshman year in college! Now, how sweet is that?

Love in the family is more precious than gold! If you, dear reader, have a story from the family that you would like to share, please send it to me. I will pass it along in this blog so that we can have it available for those who love the good, old stories. Then some day when a cherished, little face looks into yours and asks for a story about the "olden days", you will have a resource right here!                                                                            

Have Confidence. God is in Control!

We have often wondered at how people can grow up in the same environment yet be so different. Personality, gifts, talents, interests, academics, physical appearance, and other features and attributes can be so varied -- even among siblings and cousins.

God made each one special and unique. And He is interested in everything about us. See what the Bible has to say: in Psalm 139:

". . .you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother's womb.¹⁴ I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed substance;in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,    when as yet there was none of them."

Our God knows ALL things, even before they happen. And He knew us  before we were even conceived. What an awesome thought.

Is there any wonder that the ONE who formed us, made us, and loves us is interested in every aspect of our lives? That, my friends should give us peace and confidence. 

Sometimes we think of a child, grandchild, or other loved one or friend and we become worried about his or her well-being. And we have to remind ourselves that GOD loves them more than we do. And we can trust Him to work in their lives.

Romans 8:32 comes to mind.  "He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?"

Cling to this thought with confidence that our Lord is in control and He loves us "with an everlasting love": 

 

Thoughts On Aging

These are thoughts that I was having on September 10, 2002 --

Tonight I am thinking of the aged and the aging.

We know that we are to honor, to value, to respect, and to emulate our elders -- especially the dear Christians who have given so much love, time, prayers, money and of themselves to and for us.

But we also have to admit that we become confused, frustrated, hurt, and angry sometimes because we don't know how to properly care for them and we don't understand their concerns and their fears.

Someone said today of a loved one, "he is no longer living the life of faith that we were always used to seeing." And we knew exactly what this friend meant, for we saw Wayne's Dad become more preoccupied with the security (financially) that he could provide in the workplace vs the ministry. It was a great disappointment to us when he left the pastorate.

Of course, he never lost his love for the Lord, His Word, and His Church. But we couldn't help but feel that he settled for second best in areas of his life (and we have, too).

May God grant us patience and an extra measure of love and understanding for our elderly loved ones. And may we remember we will "be there" before we know it!

Addenda added on September 1, 2017:

Fifteen years have passed since I wrote those words. And, we are "there" ourselves. We have watched ourselves losing abilities that we took for granted. We are more fragile physically. We don't move about as quickly as we once did. Every task takes more time and energy than ever. We forget things and have to retrace our steps more often than we once did.

We find ourselves thinking more and more about the changes that may come into our lives very quickly. When one of us dies, what kinds of decisions will the other have to make? We talk about it and are pondering some possible changes even now.

But . . . "we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.  For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,  as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."  -- 2 Corinthians 4:16-18